I'm going to write this as if no one will read it.
So the other day I had a thought as I was running to my car late one night... I was thinking about if someone were to run out randomly and hurt me... I think like this a lot. Sometimes I imagine a person trying to run me over with their car.. its a sense of doom.. it sucks.. but its not like I am afraid. I feel nothing. Like ya someone come beat the snot out of me ill get up and act like nothing happened.. moved on... and that scares me. Nothing upsets me anymore. Or if it does it fades the next day and its like it never happened.. like what happened was so horrible everything else is pale next to it. Then today my co worker gave me her really expensive perfume because she knew I was so upset I broke mine. I was so happy on the way home thinking about how life has put me in a place where people care and I remember feeling so much like there was no way that was going to happen again. And I was so appreciative on that moment.. when it hit me.. I see the bad less then it is and appreciate the good more then I ever would have before it happened.. I say that's a good thing.. and instead of stressing on parts of me feeling as if they are broken.. realizing they just changed.. and I might not ever change so accept it and see it as a good thing. Its who I am now.. even if it was man made.
